Feeling like I want to look / act more femme but overall just confused really :/

(Not sure if this is the right place for this if not please kindly direct me elsewhere :))

Hello, I am 24/Male living in the UK Like everyone I eventually find myself doom scrolling on Instagram and yearning on Hinge more than I would like to admit aha. Through these outlets I consistently see people who I wish I could look like, guys who have soft features and long hair, individuals who have transitioned and identify as women, and people in between. I always have had a strange feeling whenever I see these people, I would think: "wow I wish I looked like that" or "wow I wish I could dress that way and feel confident" or "wow I wish I could be around people like that and get a perspective on what that is like" and so on...

Whenever I get these thoughts I feel so jealous and envious. I go on a tangent telling myself I will slim down, exercise, watch what I eat. get smooth skill and softer features. I used to cross-dress strictly in private But the second I take a look at what I look like, dressed up in clothes that I would want to wear I feel so embarrassed, what would my family and friends think? But more than that I feel disgusted in how I look. I'm naturally insecure In how I look, I've got that skinny fat look and I'm balding with a widows peak. But I can recognise that I am just a normal all be it not particularly impressive looking guy despite my insecurity's. I usually quit trying and go back to self identifying as this boring guy who dresses boring and doesn't try to stand out.

I fantasise about getting treated like a girl by guys, in an all be it stereotypical and perhaps outdated kind of way. Which I guess makes me gay but I won't until I start putting myself out there to guys. I've been trying on apps with no luck for a year or two and am trying to find a space for that stuff

I plan to try and stick out at exercising and watching what I eat. And also see If I can do something about my hair besides what I usually do which is rogaine / minoxodil but I have been doing that for years now with not too much luck. (again I plan on speaking to a medial professional). Along with trying to get into spaces where I can speak / meet to people who feel or are in a similar boat to how I feel.

I am planning on telling a close friend about this stuff since I have had this on my chest for a couple of years now and I trust him to be honest with me, I am just using Reddit to reach out to people who may be in a similar boat and get advice on it (plus this felt quite liberating to write down).

I recognise that I have to DO something to build this version of myself and will continue to do so at my own pace.

Any advice or support to help me get to this version of myself would be greatly appreciated :D