Personal references are infuriating

People, generally, don't like me. I feel like the autism test on every job application is whether or not you have references. I have my friend who I've known for the last 21 years, she has a beat on my personality and ethics... Who the fuck else though? I never leave a job on good terms. I don't have any friends in my professional circle... or even people who tolerate me. I am a perfect fit for this job that I'm applying to, and I literally don't know 3 people who would vouch for me. I know one, and it's only like a 30% chance she's picking up the phone if they call. My dad won't answer, plus I'm 33 fucking years old! I'm supposed to have better references than "Idk, my dad thinks I'm cool." I'm flummoxed.

Commiseration and/or suggestions welcome.