But I will say this much see whenever my exes do that thing where they be like okay I want to run to distractions That is usually when I decide at that point at the so many times of trying to heal them I give up

I give up trying to heal them a girl trying to make them see their own reflection I give up trying to make them see what needs to be healed and at that point I just give up I just want to say you know what It's going to point me trying no why they're going to continue to do the same path to do the same path of continue to hurt me and not try to heal not iron itronic thing is My husband he was a Leo and everybody know how Leo's are and even he never acted like that. He was stubborn at first and stuff you stubborn with all that but then eventually he understood that conspiracy what was going on and how you need to heal and how all that stuff with his ego was bottled up and everybody knows Leo have a ego so it's like I don't know what to say like I tried the best that I could but now what's the point in trying when they don't give a f*** about themselves and not to understand that they need to face their own cells to heal So it's like what should I do continue let the cycle will continue and let them hurt me more and more and then I'm the one sitting up here like oh feeling like I'm not being treated right and I'm also feel like I should be treated better than that then I'm like no I'm not doing that So yeah I'm not going to just go ahead and say hey you know what Let me just go to the nearest person and let me just be with them I never could think that or want to do that like that now as far as with guys now I don't do that at all. That's why I stay to myself a lot not interested in that mess trying to be like oh yeah I'm going to go run to the nearest guy and just say hey that's what I'll do but no but that's what my exes do they run to the nearest woman and be like oh well it's to fill the void and I'm like what void I'm right there well the void are you pulling away how is I'm pulling away when you the one pulled away with your nervous energy and decide to run to distractions nothing they do nothing about it's psychologically makes any sense in terms of logical thinking it doesn't make sense I'm fearful of losing you I'm fearful of letting you go or you're gone forever guess what Let me go ahead and put that energy into other folks and stuff and even though I'm fearful of losing her forever guess what let me just do this anyway nothing logically makes sense that's why I said it's very irrational illogical thinking that I just don't f****** get I mean I get the reasons why but technically speaking is like come on now there's only so much you can do and so first you can take for you to understand and grab the fact that you need to start facing yourself and start healing yourself running from your own shadow running from your own fears running for your own pain is not the way to be That is why I be like you know what I try but only person that gets affected by this and get hurt by it is me and then they don't even realize how deeply it hurt but they think because of the fact that I am forgiving then yeah let's go ahead and should do it again no nope let's not cuz I'm not accepting it either way it go that's why I decided that I'm going to focus on what makes me happy and focus on myself focus on people that don't give a f*** about themselves or about me enough to understand wrong is wrong and it's not the way you can spend it but that's how it is and playing head games and what else head games doesn't get to me at all All he does is makes me lose interest get pissed off because I like authenticity and it makes me just feel like just slap the hell out of somebody not that I'll do that course I won't do it but it just how that makes me feel because it's like why be so obvious that I can see right through your ass and not only see right through you is like seriously do you really think that I can't see you Do you really think that I just don't know So at that point it's just gets to the point where it's like you know what Man I'm done can't do it So that's why I said enough focus on what makes me happy focus on what I want to do and focus on things like that because people don't if they care and everything they would have been the right there with me but they're not Please some are not there for the things that they think that motives of that I think All I know is I'm not giving in to superficial anything at all So if it's superficial surface level and it's not serious not like that or if it's just I'm just trying to see what you do want to do nah I ain't with that So with that being said head games mind games stupid games I don't play