What really happened to Mitch

I’ve had some time to think and ponder on this topic. I’ve come to the conclusion that real reason Mitch McConnell was in the hospital is cause he got explosive diarrhea from eating leafy greens since he a big turtle. His wife also fled back to china to get away from that shit “quite literally”. He “fell” cause he was so weak and dehydrated from the diarrhea. He also gotten pneumonia from the explosive diarrhea. Anyways Pepto Bismol to the moon, but now.