Is this an abusive relationship?

I don’t know how to really feel about my relationship anymore. I’m 19 my boyfriend is 22, we’ve been together for 19 months and have a 6 month old together. We’ve been through a lot together, and that’s an understatement. A lot of traumatic bonding.

I had a very traumatic birth. I had my baby naturally at home and very unexpectedly. I had her at 27 weeks and she was born in my arms. It’s very long story that I’m not going to get into too much right now but I had her pretty much alone and it just was very traumatic and very painful and very eventful.

But I’ve just been feeling weird about it idk. Like my body rejects him. Everytime he touches me anywhere near where would be considered a “private part” I shake up, it makes me uncomfortable, almost to the point where I could scream and cry. And he’s not even really touching me it could be something so light.

This morning I was having trouble sleeping last night so I moved to the couch, he slept for a couple hours and woke up and asked why I had moved, I said I couldn’t sleep, and I went back to bed with him. I told him I was really tired I wanted to go to sleep for another. He continued to hump me. I told him to stop calmly and would move away. But he would keep doing it. I would say that I was really tired and wanted to sleep. He would keep doing it. This continued for about 15 minutes until he took off his pants and continued to hump me, telling me how he wants to fuck me. I told him I was again really tired I hadn’t gotten much sleep and wanted to go back to sleep for a little bit and my head was hurting. He just kept continuing and being handsy on me touching me every where while I continued to move his arms off me and him away from me. Until I just got up and told him I was going to lay on the couch instead.

When I got pregnant I knew I couldn’t get an abortion. He would never let me get one. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant and had graduated high school 6 months prior. He told me since we had gotten together that if I ever got pregnant and got an abortion he’d be furious. I did try to discuss it with him. He shut it down right away and it became a fight. When the doctor told me abortion is an option he looked at me the whole time she was saying that with a death stare. Plus to be honest I couldn’t get rid of her when I found out. I was too attached I just couldn’t. And I’m so grateful I have her now.

When we would have sex prior to getting pregnant though, I would tell him to pull out because he refused to use condoms, and I didn’t have health insurance at the time so I couldn’t get birth control yet. I was still getting it all set up. Actually my medical card that I needed to go get my birth control came the week I found out I was pregnant. He wouldn’t pull out all the time. Every once in a while he would, but most of the time he just wouldn’t. I felt so uncomfortable after.

I don’t know if I’m over exaggerating. There is so so so so so much I could say but I’m just not going to list a million things plus I don’t think anyone wants to hear it. I just don’t know what to do I feel like I’m not fully comfortable with him. I’m starting to become so mean to him and resent him but that could also be postpartum and postpartum depression. I don’t know dealing with a lot need words of advice.