I stopped being the family peacekeeper, and now I’m the villain at every dinner table.

For as long as i can remember, i’ve been the one who calms my dad down and apologizes go my mom for “being dramatic” and such, and silently absorbs the tension in every room. I’d shut down my feelings just to keep the air light.

Last thanksgiving my uncle made a really cruel comment about my career, my dad brought up politics and my sister just literally stormed out. Normally i would be chasing her, trying to calm the situation and just making all sorts of excuses for everyone. Instead i just sat there and did nothing at all.

The silence was legit just deafening.

Afterward my mom called me “cold” and my sister said that “ i just stopped caring about my family”. But thats really absurd, the truth is i never cared more-about myself. I realized i was raised to be a human emotional fire extinguisher and everyone around me benefited from my silence. I was done.

Im not the family therapist. I’m not the apology machine. Im just a daughter who finally chose her own peace over their performance l. And i think i never felt lighter lol.