How to fight without being an asshole about it

I might just be too nice.

So the problem I'm having is I really want to do some pvp, because fighting is fun! But I only play solo, officials, and main styra. I have to avoid the hotspots bc yeah no chance to find fair 1v1's there, but on the off chance I run into another solo while roaming the lands, nine times out of ten they are friendly. Carni or herbi, they'll bob at me, I'll challenge call back and bite the air, they bob more, until I'd feel just so bad to attack and so I bob back before walking off, disappointed but knowing they prolly just wanted to quest in peace. And bc I main A Small Herbivore I can't even justify being aggressive with roleplay or needing food, I'd just be seen as a KOSer :/

I tried the officials solo survival test and there the problem is that bc of the permadeath, people avoid each other like the plague and hide from each other without daring to engage. I also haven't found any server that could solve this problem because I don't want to play with any mods, and any semi/realism servers are a no-go bc again I main a herbi and all I've seen have some form of "herbis aren't allowed to attack first" rule. And deathmatch servers bore me because they lack the thrill of running into another dino in the wild by chance.