Givebutter workarounds? (couples and letter formatting)

** asking about existing platform, not which one to use**

We are a small but growing nonprofit - around 500 private donors per year and a smattering of grants. I'm Communications/Development/Program Manager in our two person shop. I've been here 10+ years and took us from no CRM (just excel sheets) to Donor Tools, a sometimes clunky and rather old school CRM that had had an API with PayPal. It worked ok.

I started a (free) Givebutter account mid year last year. For soliciting and tracking online donations it has been so much better. The tools look modern, the auto responses are good, Paypal fees are a thing of the past all our donors are covering them (did not enable tips on top). Started logging checks in GB exclusively at the start of this calendar year, kept donor tools and did not bring over any historic data to GB - yet...

But two big issues I want to figure out if/how others work around before I take the plunge completely.

1. We have lots of couples that give as a unit. ie - Jack and Jane Smith - they give together and it would be horrible if I hit Jane up for a LYBUNT donation if Jack in fact gave and they both have emails on our list. GB only lets me make individual or company profiles. Company profiles can only have one primary contact. There is a "soft credit" and household" thing but it doesn't seem to work well in either searches or reporting. To my mind this is not a reflection of how the world works and is frustrating.

2. Relatedly, the "engage" platform will only write a letter to one individual or primary contact, there is no way to edit each letter. This is an issue with the aforementioned couples problem but also I can't go in and add that someone is a board member and we thank them for their talents, etc. I don't think this improves with shelling out for Givebutter plus. After trying three google doc mail merge apps I have not found a good solution and I'm considering going back to the Word mail merge dark ages.

Givebutter is good at tracking updates - these two issues have received hundreds of messages. That's why I feel like folks are finding ways to work around - any tips? Maybe I log checks in donor tools and just use Givebutter for online so I don't have to write any letters? Seems like a pain

Many, Many Thanks!

TL:DR - Givebutter issues with logging gifts for both members of a couple and editing individual letters in engage - seeking workarounds and tips