The Kings introduction. [830]
This is my current draft for the introduction of the King character in my WIP. Just assume every discussed/that happened is established properly because it is.
Crit [980] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1uves05/980_snippet_from_a_longer_draft/
Malphus arrived at the entrance of the King's personal garden. Two royal guards flanked the golden gate, unmoving. The Rifles they held exceeded anything Maveth produced. They wore a black carapace, sparkling brilliantly in the sun. Three embers rest proudly against their black chestplate. Furia, the guard to the right, smiled when Malphus got close enough to greet. Fiery hair escaped from under her headpiece.
“Ah, Old man Malphus, what brings you here?”
“I'm sorry Dear, I don't have time for pleasantries, I must speak with the King.”
Seemingly slightly disappointed,
“Very well, you may enter.”
Malphus entered and knelt before the King. Looking bored, King Philip inspected an apple, the tree itself unique on the planet. Thoroughly engrossed with the apple, he continued to gaze into its depths. He opened his mouth, revealing unnaturally white teeth. He took a hearty bite. The King did not chew the apple, just tasting it and spitting it out. He gazed into the exposed flesh of the apple, eventually throwing it against Eden's courtyard walls.
“I prefer the red ones”
Only noticing Malphus now, he addresses him,
“Malphus, my dear friend. For what reason do you present yourself before me?"
"Milord, the Eastern front is on the verge of collapse."
The King considered this,
“The bugs, was it?”
“Yes Milord”
The King let out a sigh,
“Malphus, I thought I told you to take care of them.”
“Well, yes milord but they've changed recently.”
“Oh, how so?”
“Theyve gotten smarter, their movements more coordinated”
Frowning, the King considers the statement.
"Elaborate"
"Now, they move in units and strike vital military infrastructure. The military can no longer effectively coordinate, with supply and information routes being swarmed with suicide drones.”
Malphus had managed to capture the King's attention. He takes a minute to process the information,
Pinching the bridge of his nose, the King sighs.
The King thought for a second before continuing,
“The Devil will be reporting soon.”
Malphus and the King continue to discuss solutions under the shade of the apple tree. Golden sun rays permeated through the barrier. Birds, long since extinct, sang their forgotten melodies. Wind rushed through the garden, picking up flowers and leaves. They danced gracefully to the ground.
Malphus enjoyed an apple as he listened to Philip, savoring the fruit's sweet juiciness. He had been discussing the current state of affairs,
“Eden faces pressure from all sides-”
He was interrupted when a red butterfly landed on his nose. He smiled and gently motioned it away before continuing,
“The raid on the spaceport is a substantial setback. Mary was likely at the bar that night.”
The King walked down to the flowerbeds, appearing to look for answers in them. Malphus followed.
“The observatory is tracking their ship, it remains in orbit.”
He placed his nose against a red flower and inhaled deeply.
“If they don't send someone for the ransom soon, I'll get Mary myself.”
The gate swung open. Furia announced that she was entering the garden, kneeling when she did.
“Yes, Furia?”
“Milord, three knights of Eden brought a man claiming to represent the Pirates. He claimed that they're holding Mary hostage.”
“ Right on time.”
“Milord?”
“Nothing, let's go meet this pirate, shall we?”
Far below Eden, unending Poppy fields stretched into the horizon. The three knights saw the King exit and kneel. A pirate lay beaten and bloodied between the three. This brought a smile to the King's face. Thanking the Knights for their effort, he dismissed them. He turned his attention to the pirate sprawled out on the cobblestone, approaching him.
The pirate slowly regained consciousness and shot backwards when he saw the King towering over him.
“Y-y-you must be the King, Im-”
The King cut the Pirate off, leaning towards him,
“A pirate sent to deliver the ransom letter for Mary. Tell me something I don't know.”
This seemed to inspire confidence in the pirate,
“Show up alone and unarmed, bringing a million credits. Do this and you might see Mary alive again.”
The king's expression flashed primordial rage. It left as quickly as it came, with the King's expression returning to the neutral smile he often wore. The pirate's face slowly morphed into existential dread.
“Is that it?”
Looking terrified,
“Is that not enough?’
King Philip grabbed the man by his collar, lifting him into the air. The man fought and kicked, but Philip did not budge. Philip walked through the park with the man, ignoring any pleas from him before unceremoniously throwing him off the edge of Eden. Not watching the man as he fell, Philip turned around,
“Well, let's get Mary.”
The pirate's scream ended when he hit the ground.
Posted Jul 16, 2026, 12:23 AM UTC