How do I know if Im asking for too much after my dads cancer diagnosis? (see texts below)

My dad got diagnosed with cancer, and my conversation with a freind is like this. She didnt call me for weeks, but would keep askihg for updates, etc, although the updates are the same daily that he is really ill. she asked "how are you doing outside of it" in the sense of how imdoing outside the cancer diagnosis, i didnt know what to say, my dads health is on my mind daily, it is my life now:

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Freind: Well there's not much to do but not be too hard on yourself with the situation

Me: I also get messages from people saying sorry, asking me for updates on my dads health and sending me cancer cures too. And saying not to be hard on myself.

But I feel like people understand.

And sometimes it does make me feel worse. I wish people would reach out to me, hold me, be there for me, make me laugh instead of telling me not to be hard on myself.

Because truly dealing with grief or what comes before it, it is hard for people to "just be happy"

This is just how I feel incase you want to understand how to help me feel better. I'm just realising what makes me feel better and what doesnt uplift my spirits.

Freind: Yhh I get it but not everyone can be there the way you expect and will check in how they can.