My married friends had an affair

The title explains it all. I am good friends with both parties, but do not know the spouses. I had no knowledge of the affair while it was taking place. Since I am friends with both, then the affair was finally discovered, I had friends asking how much I knew and others calling my character into question (not fair, but ok). I'm in this awkward space of wanting to remain on good terms with both, but since I'm starting to look questionable here, and I don't agree with that happened, I'm at a loss. I also feel a little cheated because I am close with both, and this sort of deceit feels like they were lying to me or playing me for a fool. I cross paths with both regularly, and I don't want to upend my life to avoid them, but I'm not really sure what to do from here. I know they're both hurting, and I hope they're not both speaking to me hoping I'll be some sort of go-between, but I'm struggling with how to be a friend in the right way. It's truly a no-win, but if anyone has been in this situation, I welcome any insight. I've done the "let me know if you need to talk" thing, but I'm not really sure how to set the boundary of talking about repairing their respective relationships and not somehow become a therapist as to whether they're making the right choice. Neither have asked, but it's all fresh so I can see that coming at some point unless I went no contact.

Posted Jul 20, 2026, 10:26 PM UTC

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