I failed as a husband today

Basically title. I cried my eye balls out. I hurt my wife beyond her belief, the one person she trusted and never thought would hurt her, managed to completely destroy her trust and break her heart into a million pieces. This woman fought for me, left her entire world, multi million dollar inheritance for me and I broke her heart. I’m an awful human being. I let my toxic competitiveness get in between our love. Someday I hope to change and be a man that is worthy of her love and respect. I am not that man today.