I (30F) found out my long term BF (27M) cheated

I (30F) went through my bf(27M) phone and found evidence of him cheating in a private album. There was a video of him with his dick out with a condom and girls in thongs around him. I also found videos he saved to his phone of a random girl - not naked- fully clothed but she was showing off her body. I also found pictures of a woman and him at dinner - a picture of them together and multiple photos of just her. I also found a picture of another woman.

I totally went insane and blacked out in a rage. I punched him and threw his phone.

He said the videos of the random girl were from just that- a random girl who texted him. She basically asked how he was, he sent one text - this is what he’s claiming, and then didn’t respond again, but she sent those videos and for some reason, he saved them. He claims they never talked again. And that it was a random girl he met out years ago. The videos he saved were from 2024 or 2025. I don’t remember.

He said the photos of the woman and him at dinner were a from a client dinner that was when he was traveling out of state for work - he never told me about a one on one dinner with a female client. He claims his other coworker knows her, which is why he took pictures of her. And that he sent the photos to this other male coworker.

He claimed the other random photo of a woman was a female coworker from the out of state office when he was visiting on a work trip, and that another male coworker was in the car with them - they were all smoking weed after work. There only one photo of this woman, so I semi believe this. But I’m not sure why it was in a private album or why he didn’t tell me.

And the video of him with his dick out with a condom, that was from a work trip to Vegas. There was also a few videos of him partying with other women. I knew about this trip obviously, but he told me didn’t do any drugs and there were no women with the group - only a few of the other business men’s wives. He admitted to getting a handy but said he did not have sex.
I’m disgusted. I’m devastated. I can’t even believe this is my life. We’re been together 4 years going on 5 in march. We have had many talks of marriage and that’s where our relationship was headed. I told him many times that I’m ready for that next step. I’m almost 31. I’m ready to be a wife and start having children. He has talked about marriage with me, but I will say things seems to slow down with him bringing that up, and it felt like I was always the one to initiate those conversations.

He swears he did not have sex with any of the women in the video. They seem to be prostitutes. He said the other business men flew them out. I don’t fully believe there was no sex, but he swears there wasn’t. It seems they were all partying in a hotel room after a huge festival in Vegas, and these prostitutes were making their rounds with the disgusting men.
I feel so disgusted by him. This makes me hate him and never want to be with him again. But at the same time I love him and we’ve had such a beautiful life together and build such a beautiful life together.

He said he would go to therapy. I scheduled a session tomorrow for my self and will consider going with him. At this point I told him I want to break up and I’m done. It’s just a lot involved because we live together and have been together for almost 5 years. I can’t imagine being alone. I do depend on him for a lot. I know I would be okay, it would just be a massive change. I am considering working things out. But at the same time I don’t see myself ever wanting to even kiss him again. Maybe that could change with time.
How can begin to move forward in this relationship? I don’t even know what I could ask of him to help me move forward - or if I want to.

I’m devastated, heartbroken, and embarrassed. I don’t want to tell my friends and family the truth. Part of me wants to protect him still bc I love him. I know if and when I tell my family, it’s over for good. That’s when the reality will hit. I’m waiting a bit to make that final decision.

Thank you for reading my post💔