AITAH for wanting to end my(F22) relationship with my 4 month boyfriend(M22)?

(Super long, I just really need to let this out.)

I genuinely don't know if I'm the asshole, if I'm overthinking, or if I'm just ruining a good relationship because of my own issues.

For some background, me and my boyfriend have only been together for almost 4 months. He's honestly a really sweet guy. He's a gentleman, he treats me well, my family absolutely loved him when they met him, and he genuinely cares about me. That's why this is messing with my head so much. If he was just an asshole this would be so much easier.

Lately though I've been questioning the relationship a lot. I don't even know if it's the relationship or if it's me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even capable of being in one.

A few days ago we were supposed to hang out but there was a really bad storm so he couldn't come over. We said we'd just call later instead.

By the time I got home from work I realized I honestly didn't want to be on the phone. I just wanted to decompress and be by myself for a little bit. So I told him something like, "Since you're not coming over anymore I kinda just wanna chill by myself for a bit."

He got quiet and said something like, "Oh... I even stopped playing games with my cousin because I thought we were gonna hang out."

Instantly I felt guilty.

Then I remembered that earlier that day he had told me his uncle's father ("Pops") had passed away. Later that night he admitted he wasn't okay and that he didn't want to be alone. I ended up calling him because he completely broke down crying.

Now I feel like an asshole because I asked for space on probably one of the worst days he's had in a long time.

The next day he asked me if he was doing a good job at giving me space because he knows I value my alone time. He also told me we don't really see each other because he doesn't ask me to hang out that much anymore.

Another thing is sex. I don't like giving oral sex. He has never forced me or anything like that, but he'll make little comments every now and then trying to encourage me to do it. It just makes me feel guilty because I still don't want to.

Another thing happened at my house. We weren't even arguing. I genuinely had to pee so I got up to go to the bathroom. He told me to leave my phone. I was like... why? We had food coming, I wanted to check if it got here, and honestly I scroll on my phone while I'm in the bathroom like everyone else.

Later he admitted he thought I was taking my phone and vape because I mentally check out when things get overwhelming.

I understood where he was coming from but it rubbed me the wrong way because it's still my phone. It felt like someone telling me what I could and couldn't do with my own stuff.

Another thing I've noticed is whenever I need emotional support somehow the conversation turns into him calling himself the bad guy or feeling guilty, and then I end up comforting him instead. A lot of the time I just shut my own feelings down because now I'm worried about his.

Then there's the fact that if he's upset he tends to just shut down instead of telling me what's wrong. So I have to keep asking him to talk to me. I'm honestly getting tired of that.

The part that's scaring me the most is... I got to a point where it feels like everything he says or does annoys me. Even little things. That scares me because I don't know if that's because something is wrong with the relationship or because something is wrong with me.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship before this one. Toward the end of that relationship, every time I talked to my ex afterwards I'd end up crying. Recently I was talking to my current boyfriend and I felt like crying for no reason. It reminded me of my ex and now I'm terrified I'm either repeating history or letting my past ruin something that's actually good.

My friends know about all of this because I tell them when things happen. I'm not trying to make him look bad. I genuinely need outside opinions because I don't know if I'm overreacting or missing red flags. They told me they'll support whatever decision I make, but from their point of view they think this relationship is draining me.

So now I'm sitting here wondering...

Am I pushing away a genuinely good guy because I overthink everything and my past messed me up?

Or are these actual concerns that I keep ignoring because I feel guilty every time he gets upset?

I honestly don't know anymore.