He met my mother and promised marriage, but now says seeing me is impossible while traveling for other things. Need gentle advice.

Assalamu Alaikum dear brothers and sisters,

I am writing this with a heavy heart, completely drained, and in desperate need of some gentle, objective advice from an Islamic perspective.

Our Story: My partner and I have been in a long-distance relationship for 3 years. I come from a background with childhood trauma and abuse, which has left me with deep anxiety and a fear of abandonment. We met in person two years ago, and he even met my mother and promised her that he would marry me. It gave me so much hope, but since then, it has been two entire years without seeing each other at all.

The Current Situation: Over these two years, I worked hard, saved my money, and offered to help pay for travel so we could meet, but he always declined, saying it was too expensive or too complicated culturally. Because I want to avoid anything haram and find peace, I repeatedly brought up the idea of getting married (Nikkah) as soon as possible, so we could be together respectfully without any barriers and honor his promise to my family. However, he felt this was too much pressure and responsibility.

What breaks my heart is that recently, he has been able to make time and find the financial means to travel for his own personal projects and to visit friends. When I calmly expressed my pain about not seeing him in 2 years while he travels elsewhere, he felt suffocated, accused me of creating problems, and blocked me everywhere for two weeks.

The Emotional Toll: During those two weeks of silent treatment, the shock caused me severe panic attacks, to the point of needing medical care. My health and anxiety became so painful that my mother and sister suffered seeing me like this, and I had to move in with my aunt to give them peace.

Now, I feel forced to hide my true feelings. If I show any sadness, he turns cold, threatens to break up, and says talking to me is a "chore." Out of fear of losing him or being blocked again, I just pretend everything is fine, but I am dying inside.

My Questions for You:

1. An Islamic Perspective: Is it normal or acceptable for a brother to promise marriage to a family, but then avoid making things halal (Nikkah) and claim seeing her is impossible, while managing to travel for other things?
2. Handling the Silent Treatment: How can I calm my heart and nervous system according to Islam when he shuts down or blocks me, without losing my dignity and health?
3. Moving Forward: How can I communicate my basic needs for respect and presence gently, or is this a sign that I need to make Dua for strength and let go?

JazakAllah Khair to anyone who takes the time to answer with kindness. Please keep me in your Duas.