21st Birthday Party Friend Breakup

My best friends 21st birthday was the weekend of July 4th and was planning a birthday weekend for some time. All of my college friends typically make plans for July 4th weekend and originally the plan was we were all going to take a trip somewhere but then that plan never happened. After that my parents decided they would be renting a house for the weekend of July 4th for my whole family. We dont see each other a lot so this would be a good time for us all to be together (my parents and my two siblings). During this time my best friend then decided she was going to host something for her birthday which was July 2nd in the city and then have everyone at her house over the weekend. When this all happened id say in early June I realized this would be a problem. My friends dinner was Thursday night and my parents were driving out Wednesday . I could have stayed in the city till Friday morning but then I would have missed half of the plan with my family and been sitting in my apartment for 2 days just so I could go to her birthday dinner. Also I would have to sit in hours of traffic on Friday during the day. I thought through a lot of different plans and transport methods so that I could possibly make it to both but I realized it was unrealistic. I didnt tell her that I was going to be missing the dinner because I was waiting till the last minute due to timing of when we could enter the house. I wanted to see if I would basically just be missing thursday at the house (if we got the house late weds) but since we were able to go out early morning I followed that plan. Right as I was about to text her my plan and let her know she sent me a raging paragraph about how I am a terrible friend and communicator and Im immature for not letting her know in advance. And to be fair I didnt let her know in advance because I knew she would rip me to shreads. Anyways I apologized several times and explained how I obviously wanted to be there but I couldn't make it to both places and I wanted to be with my family since they were going out Wednesday and I dont get to see them all the time. She replied with how clearly this friendship means nothing to me and that my "message had been recieved." along with a number of other passive aggressive texts. I was nothing but nice in my responses I wished her a happy birthday at 12am and sent her over $100 worth of cookies on her bday. She replied to my birthday text and package about everything 24 hours later with "thx". After the weekend I sent a follow up text saying how I felt bad about everything and dont want this to change our friendship. She then sent another follow up rude text saying if I actually cared I should "pick up the phone". I called her and she had nothing to say besides repeating that she was very disappointed and betrayed. I said that I was sorry for the lack of communication and not telling her in advance but I would never ever say any of the rude texts that she had sent me if it had been the reverse situation. I also said that I cant keep apologizing forever and she can hold this against me (because she obviously will) but I have to move on. The conversation essentially went nowhere besides that she stated if I actually cared I would have sat in hours of traffic on Friday just so I could make it to her dinner. Also that I should have "let her know" that I would be seeing my friends over the weekend when I was with my family- I saw them for one of the five nights for a party. She has told all of our other friends about how terrible and rude I am and that It will never be the same. Anyways I saw her last week and its so awkward she basically pretended that were far off friends but its just so weird. I want to know am I in the wrong. How should I handle the situation? I still want to be friends but I feel like the way she acted may have been even ruder than I was for not going to the birthday and seems blown out of proportion for a birthday weekend on the biggest holiday season of the summer