Am I crazy??

Just seeking your advice....

As a highly functioning medical personnel with quite stressful and demanding speciality with serious decision making (sometimes life and death !) all the time ,am I crazy for seeking flr specially in a Conservative country that consider such matter a taboo and scar in your manhood ..am I just pursuing a fantasy that would never manifest???

Sometimes I just wish I would be working abroad from my country to have that burden off.. I am just in an endless pursuit and feels like my good years are passing in vain.