Locking Your Own Doors

This is under strangers , That's what we've become . You are the key to the deadbolt and idk how you don't have enough common sense to understand that..

Do I believe you regret leaving ? Yes that probably one of the only things I believe that you've said lately .. But when you left , before leaving. You snuck around and made plans in the exact manner you are attempting to do now .. You do not know how to close out a relationship and walk away with clarity and respect ! You keep the wool over your victim's eyes until you decide it's time to run ! Somewhere in your mind that is fine and you will continue on that foolishness until you no longer have those options .. Well you aren't getting younger and your current abuses of substances has shortened that time significantly! You can't even articulate your sorrow if you truly have any. You would have to to that and be very convincing .. And first you'd have to do the right thing with who you are with now , because I will not be him in the situation between us .. Besides , you probably lied to him about us even being together at the time .. Anyways I don't believe you receiving this or reading it here would actually make a difference.. You'd have to want to change and honestly I don't believe it's in you and or that you are ready to actually grow up in these ways .. So I'll leave it here unsent ..

You are the one locking your own doors you can no longer go through .. then you come knocking on those doors and wonder why you can't just walk in..

I wish you the best , but as of now there is no future with us and I don't believe they'll ever be again .. But as I said , you are the key and it's in your hands ! If you really wanted to come through you could , but your have to know you really wanted too .. Not just run to because its familiar and easier atm !