Comphet?

Okay this may be a bit of a long one and I hope I’m posting it in the right community but I really need some advice, I know that everyone’s experience is unique and that no one can figure this out for me but I just need some help. I’m going to try and be unbiased whilst explaining this because I know what I want the answer to be but I also want the truth. For starters, looking back on my childhood I know now that I really did not like boys, I’d pick a random one in my class and act like I liked him because that was what everybody else was doing, I did enjoy male validation but mainly because I was a slight attention seeker and just wanted to be noticed, all throughout my school years I never once sought a relationship with a man or even bothered talking to them, I’d get upset when my female friends would talk about boys and to this day I hate that topic, I’d also very deeply admire female teachers and feel intensely emotionally attached to some of my friends but I still told everybody that I was “straight” because I thought that we all felt that way and were all pretending to like boys, I also grew up in a very strict religious community and had no knowledge of sexuality or anything of the sort, I did know that I felt different but I couldn’t put a label on it or understand why, now that I’m older and very much a people pleaser, my parents bring up marriage etc. and I’ve tried avoiding it for a while and it’s caused a lot of issues for me (it’s complicated) and so now I’ve convinced myself that it wouldn’t be so bad, I wouldn’t have to come out or risk losing my family or anything like that and that feels safer to me than having them find out everything, I also struggle with OCD and obsessing over figuring my sexuality out and sometimes I get intrusive thoughts or obsessions that convince me that I do like men and I really don’t want that to be the case but again, it would make my life easier, I don’t really know if I’m just in denial or have misinterpreted my sexuality (seeing as I’ve only recently come to terms with it) but I want to know how people confirmed theirs or got past those feelings of going back and forth between the lesbian and bisexual labels, of course I know that it’s very okay to be bi but I don’t want to be and it feels wrong for me to call myself that, I’m not sure what to do, I’m 19 so I think I should have it figured out by now because I’m getting older and everyone around me knows who they are and I’m quite behind in that.