i feel like shit man i want advice if you used to be like this and you changed

soo im not able to break this stupid way of thinking

If someone needs me, I feel valuable.
If someone pulls away, I feel worthless.
So I chase.
I over-give.
I accept less than what I want.
And afterward, I hate myself for it.

and i dont feel like im really connected with people man like well they are good people but the way i imagine or i expect i soo call friends to be with me is different from how they behave and well i dont want them to know my expectations because ik i ask too much.. about the above few lines its just basically me in a relationship mostly i feel fucked up there, but when i look at other peoples worries mine is way less compared to theirs soo please help with advice if you were like this and changed and how were you able to do it, i just spoke my mind here and i dont know if i used the right flair as well my mind is kinda in haywire mode slef depricating loop