I am truly alone and free

My city rose up in protest and faced very severe police crackdown. I went alone with basic medical supplies and found a couple journalists to tag along with. I wasn't scared of the police honestly. I had done no wrong.

And life has been exhausting. I really didnt care. I cared only about the protest and its goals, which the organisers failed in coordinating.

It was a massive protest with several hundreds of thousands of people.

I noticed no one called to check in on me while the people around me had multiple multiple messages and calls from family, friends and distant contacts. No one cared I was here and at risk of facing physical violence.

My parents are fascists so its a good thing. But not a friend. Or a person from college. They reached out to me when they were in trouble. I coordinated a legal issue for all of them while they gave credit to someone else. I dont see a single one at the protests or even posting about it.

Someone I was getting close to ghosted me when he learned I was going to the protest. He supports the system and I reminded the leopard eating everyone's faces will get to him too eventually.

I may be unlikeable. I may be an eyesore to look at. I may be really bad at finding people who could stay. But it makes me free. I am free to do anything I want if no one cares.

It is sad but also good.