AIO my girlfriend took her parents to a zoo 2 hours away, got them a hotel room and decided to crash at her “best friend”s (ex from 20 years ago) house.

I (M39) and my partner (F38) have been together for just under a year (August will be the year mark) and she decided to take her folks on a random trip to the zoo that’s a couple hours away from where we live. This was intended to be an overnight stay as they’re older and don’t want to travel too much in one day.

Her “best friend” live in the city they’re staying near and she did plan on visiting him but texted me after he made her dinner, saying that his place is an hour away from the hotel where she got a room that her parents are staying in and she’s just going to crash in his guest room.

Now, I have a traumatic relationship history involving a lot of partners that have ended up being unfaithful and ripping my heart out. And she knows all of my history and we’ve talked at length about boundaries and triggers and we’ve both been very mindful about each others’ past traumas.

We’ve had an incredible relationship and so many wonderful memories, great communication and so much love and compassion shared between us. She’s my best friend and I can see myself with her for the rest of my life.

I told her I would happily pay for her uber back to the hotel and that this makes me very uncomfortable and crosses a boundary that just makes me feel sick. She called me and said that I’m making her feel controlled and that it’s not ok for me to not be ok with her spending time with her best friend as they are having a great time and good conversation and it’s making her want to withdraw from everyone and “crawl in a hole.” I explained that I think it’s wonderful that she’s having a good time and feeling safe and that my issue is not at all with this person or the time she spends with him, it’s about staying the night in another man’s home. I asked if she even had anything with her for an overnight stay and she confirmed that she did, so I suggested that it was the plan to stay there. She got very defensive and angry and pretty much said “I don’t know what to tell you” and said goodnight.

My heart is breaking and I feel sick. This isn’t a thing most couples would be ok with, right? I’m not crazy for feeling this way? I feel like this is could be the end of this relationship and I just want to go lie on the train tracks.