I think I might be autosexual, please help me understand

Hi, I (29TF) am starting to think I might be autosexual, but I’m not sure. I’ve read an article on it and some parts of it seemed to click a little. I’ve had some problems with the two sexual partners I’ve had in my life. I often feel like I can easily be taken out of a mood sometimes this is something giving me dysphoria, but I also feel like I just don’t get into sex as much as I should. When my partners have given I have felt some sensations that I liked and even finished 3 or 4 times in a 5 year span. I like giving oral and I’ve even gotten aroused by it. I think I’d like to try some partnered kink activities, but that’s theoretical as it still hasn’t happened and I don’t know exactly how I’ll feel. I feel like masturbation is easier and maybe more pleasurable on an individual level, but I’m not sure if that’s just from lots of practice making me an expert where I can quickly hit my spots well. I’ve been masturbating for more than twice as long as I’ve been having sex, and with far greater frequency. I think I might be somewhere on the autosexual spectrum, but I’m not sure if any of what I’ve said is disqualifying or not.

I found out about autosexuality about 5 years ago and I think I was a bit ashamed I might fit into this category. I thought it would make me a selfish lover and a failure of a partner. I put a lot of my self worth on being able to or trying to please my partner and meet their needs. That being said, my current relationship is a bit on the rocks and may be going through some changes. My partner is thinking we might be sexually incompatible. For a long time I wasn’t giving them good aftercare when they experienced top drop, although I’ve learned how to do this, it’s a bit too little too late. This is combined with our sessions most frequently ending with me tapping out because I got in the wrong headspace, got exhausted, or felt dysphoric. While things may stay the same there’s a chance our relationship will change into a purely romantic one or possibly a queer platonic relationship. We are poly and she’s planning on having a very sexual relationship with another partner, so I don’t really have to worry that if I don’t satisfy her, she won’t get satisfied. I’m still worried though. I’m worried I’m reaching towards autosexuality to just explain away my inadequacies. I’m not sure if this is imposter syndrome or not, that is why I’ve come here.

When I was discovering my gender I found it really helpful to share my feelings with a group of people who had the gender journey I thought I might be going on. I’d like to do a similar thing here. I want to know if what, if anything, I’ve said is relatable to your own experiences. I want to know if there are general boundaries to the autosexual spectrum and I want to know if anything I’m expressing seems too far outside those boundaries. I sincerely thank you for any help you can provide in helping me make an informed decision on this.