Coparenting after divorce, living abroad

Ladies, can you please share your experiences of co- parenting after divorce? Our marriage is over, we are just dragging it on now. He is a good father and is likely to get 50% custody. He is good to everyone except to me.
I am terrified of:

- Not seeing my kids half the time. They are very young, under 4. It breaks my heart that they won’t get a “normal” childhood with happy parents in the same household. That they will miss me and won’t have access to me. I am crying now thinking of my youngest crying for me. We all sleep in the same bed now.

- Managing finances independently: I have a good job and some family support. I won’t get anything for monthly expenses from my family but they will help out if I have a real emergency. It will be humiliating to ask them, though, after all my education and a self-initiated divorce. They are not rich but have stable middle class finances.

I earn enough to stay in a decent rented 2 bhk. I will be okay for a few months if I lose my job, not sure about after that.

- I will have to move to a smaller, rented place, lose my home that I have helped pay for and maintain. I cannot afford it on my own. Stangely, I am not worried about this. My husband will want to keep the house and I am okay with it. I cannot argue about money, perhaps that will change when I get a lawyer. He has been outspoken about what he wants.

- Society matters to family, they will be so disappointed. They will be ashamed to share to people that I am divorced. I feel so sad thinking about my mother. My poor mom.

Honestly, I dread this too. Unknowingly, I have been wearing my once happy marriage like a badge. It became part of my identity. It used to be a pretty good relationship, I am mourning that on top of this.

Say something, anything. Thank you.