Why can’t I just decide my own life instead of being forced to go to school, get a job , get married , have kids , die.

I’ve always wanted to express this thought but I’ve been too scared to express it. I want to reject social conditioning because I want to LIVE MY OWN LIFE! I dont wanna live a boring life with no meaning! Thats one of my deepest fears, living a normal life/rat race life.