kicked on on my 25th birthday and made homeless

I’ve debated writing this for a while because it’s not exactly an easy story to tell, but I think sometimes people need to understand how quickly someone's life can completely change.

A lot of people have a certain image of homelessness. They imagine someone who has been on the streets for years, someone whose life has fallen apart over a long period of time.

That wasn’t me.

I was 25 years old.

I had a home.

I was trying to stay sober after struggling with addiction in the past.

I had recently lost my job after what I felt was discrimination at work, so things weren't perfect, but I was trying to get myself back on track.

My relationship with my parents had actually been okay at that point. They knew about my previous struggles, but as far as they knew it was mainly weed-related issues.

Then everything changed.

On my birthday, I woke up and my mum told me I had to leave.

The reason was that she had come into my room at around 4AM and said I was sleep talking.

The strange thing was...

I had absolutely no memory of any conversation happening.

Nothing.

I have diagnosed PTSD, and I’ve always wondered if that played a part in it, but at the time I was just completely confused.

Imagine waking up and being told you had done something you can't remember doing.

At first, I wasn't even angry.

I was confused.

Then I was accused of being high.

I was told the reason I couldn't remember was because I must have been on drugs.

The thing was...

I wasn't.

I had been sober.

And no matter what I said, I couldn't convince them.

The decision had already been made.

I had to leave.

On my birthday.

The "gift" I was given was a cheap Amazon tent.

A tent that would become my home.

Looking back, there's a dark humour to it , i actually laughed as i didnt know what else to do.

Most people get birthday presents like clothes, money, maybe a meal out.

I got a bright orange tent.

Which, by the way, isn't exactly ideal if you're trying to stay unnoticed.

It basically screamed:

"Hello, I'm someone sleeping rough. Please come investigate."

The first few hours were just denial.

I was convinced someone would call.

Someone would message.

Someone would say I could stay for the night.

I contacted people I thought were friends, hoping someone would have a spare sofa or somewhere I could sleep.

But eventually I had to accept that I needed to figure something out myself.

I didn't want to sleep in the city.

A person sleeping rough in a city full of drunk people and violence felt like making myself a target.

So I went into the woods.

Honestly, at the time it felt safer, probaby something to do with my years in the scouts.

I had a few military MREs and a small hexi stove, so my first birthday meal as a homeless person was sausage and beans boiled in a bag.

Not exactly Michelin star.

I imagine Gordon Ramsay would have had a few words.

But when you're hungry, you don't care.

Food is food.

That first night I barely slept.

The tent technically survived, but it was barely doing its job.

I woke up with almost everything wet.

My clothes.

My belongings.

Everything.

Then, when I opened the front zip in the morning, I was greeted by something I still find funny looking back.

There was a guy walking past the tent...

taking a piss.

The funniest part was I don't think he could see me because of the mesh cover.

But the tent was bright orange.

It wasn't exactly hiding.

I remember being angry at first, but then just laughing because what else could I do?

My first morning homeless and I'm basically watching someone use my "front garden" as a toilet.

You couldn't make it up.

But as funny as that moment was, the reality was still there.

I was alone.

I was vulnerable.

And I had no idea how long this was going to last.

A few days later, I had another moment where I genuinely felt unsafe.

I was sleeping in the same area of woodland when I heard some kids nearby.

Not normal messing around.

The kind of shouting where you can hear aggression in someone's voice.

The kind where you think:

"I don't want to be involved in whatever is about to happen."

The problem was, if they found me, I had nowhere to go.

I was about three miles from the nearest population area.

I have problems with my lower spine and my right leg, so I wasn't exactly going to outrun anyone.

I remember lying in the grass, completely still, listening.

Waiting.

Hoping they would pass.

Twenty minutes doesn't sound like a long time.

But when you're lying there scared, unable to move, it feels like hours.

That was probably the first time it really hit me.

This wasn't just uncomfortable.

This was dangerous.

Eventually, I managed to save enough money for a deposit on a private rented flat.

I did it while sleeping rough, this took around 7 months.

Every bit of money I could keep went towards getting myself somewhere safe.

But there was another problem.

My credit was terrible.

I needed a guarantor.

And the only realistic option was asking my parents.

The same parents who had kicked me out.

So I had to swallow my pride and ask them to help me get housed.

Thankfully, they agreed.

When I finally got the keys, I thought I would feel like I had won.

Instead, I just sat there.

A roof over my head.

Four walls around me.

Something I had been desperate for.

But my mind wasn't celebrating.

I was thinking about rent.

I was thinking about whether Housing Benefit would come through.

I was thinking about whether this place I had fought so hard to get could disappear again.

Because when you've had everything taken away suddenly...

you don't instantly feel safe when you get something back.

The fear stays.

I thought getting that flat was the end of the hardest part of my life.

I had no idea that later on, I would have to lose everything again.

But that's a story for another time.

I will write a chapter 2 soon , please comment if you would be interested in hearing more, the whole thing would probably take around 10 chapters and im STILL rebuilding after losing that home recently , i will explain how this happend in the next chapter.