I need some positivity, anything helps

I feel really really broken hearted and sad. I feel like i am never going to get better. I was aysmptomatic all my life, i ran , played, jumped, even fell and hit my head a few times as a kid. Never had symptoms. My chiari was found incidentally. After that, still did not have symptoms. The only "symptoms" i would say i had was of course, when I laughed super hard my head would hurt a bit, but thats about it. A few years ago, I went through a traumatic life experience (did not hit my head or no accident), It was an emotional trauma. Got kicked out of home, boyfriend kept breaking up with me, and played with my feelings, was having a really hard time at work (being bullied by the manager). Basically my life was falling apart, i had IMENSE stress. After things settled down, i felt okay but then out oh nowhere one day while at work, I felt like i was going to pass out and my coworker told me i looked really pale. I ran outside and started freaking out, I felt so out of it . It took me a while to calm down. The next night I woke up and I had these intense cramps around my neck and I felt again like i was going to pass out. It got so bad I ended up in the hospital and was just freaking out so bad. I freaked my self out and kept telling the doctors i was having a CSF leak ( i had no idea what was actually going on). Doctor gave me anxiety medication and ordered me an mri. Anxiety meds helped calm me down and MRI came back normal meaning no csf leak, no herniation changes, no nothing. Everything was the same. I left the hospital but was never the same ever again. I didnt realize that the (passing out feeling) was my brain going into derealization and dissacossation mode. I have been stuck in derealization mode for 5 years now, and i absoultely hate it , I try to feel normal but I cant. Anxiety got so bad and symptoms started coming on. I moved to a new city also and I dont think that helped my case but I just feel so lost, sad, and i have lost hope. I dont want surgery because i a scared of the outcome, i know its a hit or miss. But did all of that trauma really affect my chiari?? or was this juat something waiting to happen?? Please dont be so hard on me, I am really going through it and would just appreciate the comfort :(