25F and 27M - Is he THE ONE

Ok so let me start off with I know, mid-twenties, we’re young. But my BF (25F) and I (27M) have been together for 4 years now and we’ve had multiple conversations about marriage, our family, what we would name our kids, when we’re moving in together, etc. We’ve done and conquered long distance. No history or current cheating bs. His family loves me and vice versa, so I guess you could say that we’re pretty locked in. And we’re so in love, great sex life, etc etc

I guess my question is, for the people that have had multiple relationships and are/was married, how did you know that you were ready? How did you decide “hey this person is for me and I want to spend my life with them?” What were the “signs? DID U KNOW THIS PERSON WAS FOR YOU? What was your “meant to be” moment? Is there even one?

Unlike my boyfriend, I haven’t been in many long term relationships, but I have had my fair share of short term dates and flings. Nothing and no one really stuck out to me until he came along. But I guess as I’m getting older and the future is sinking in…..I wonder if me and him are really compatible. I second guess myself and our relationship and wonder if it’s really as strong as I think it is. Especially when it comes to coexisting with one another. We haven’t moved in together yet, but it’s coming soon. And I’m anxious about it cause what if it all just ends because we can’t coexist with one another. Does moving in together and marriage change a relationship THAT drastically?

I sometimes think about leaving. Not because I’m unhappy. But I wonder if he’ll really meet my needs and our needs, especially when we start a family. He’s just disorganized, forgetful, doesn’t care on our anniversaries (yearly yes, monthly no), and for example when I tell him to do something (like get me chocolate on a special occasion or “just cause”) he’ll do it once and then never do it again until I ask for it again. Stuff like that. Sometimes I’m tired of asking and just want him to surprise me. I sometimes wonder if he would show up for me or do things for me without asking, cause I almost always do it for him. God am I insane for this whole thing I probably am.

I don’t know maybe I’m all worried about this cause my time of the month is coming up. But it makes me curious to see how and when do you decide when to leave or when to stay, especially when there’s really nothing to “break up” over.