Ex GF cheated and I still get turned on by it

Back in 2024 I broke up with my ex GF. 1 month into our break up period she reconnected with another guy from high school that she knew. Not long after they had sex behind my back. How did I find out? At the end of our 1 month break up we linked up again for a night to fuck at a motel. When she fell asleep I went her phone and seen all these messages about how much they adore each other. One message said something like "you painted my face😏" which pretty much confirmed it all. I broke contact with her again and about 4 months later when we reconnected again and she confessed a lot about her sex life with the other guy. She even confessed that he was bigger than me😪idk why but knowing she was actively getting fucked especially by another guy bigger than me turned me on so much. Not long after confessing we had sex again lol. We must've fucked like 3-4 times because I was more local than the other guy she was seeing. I couldn't help but enjoy the thought that I was sharing her pussy with the other guy especially raw😍Ik for a fact he was enjoying her big ass and tits that she's got. I had gone through her phone again lol and I seen her texts with her friend saying that he cream pied her 2 times. He never knew she was fucking the both of us and after 8 months of them dating they broke up. Fast forward to this year we still have sex but it's super super rare now.