Mediation today may mean divorced in 10 days?

So today was mediation. I went there alone. Sat in a room by myself, and him and I went back and forth between my lawyer and the mediator and my ex and his lawyer. Oh I know I got screwed, but I am done with this bullshit divorce of his. I should have been the aggressive one going after it all. But after years and years of abuse, I was used to submitting to his way or his bullshit because of these horrible massive fits and him screaming he hated me and him blaming me for everything that went wrong. Everything he did wrong, I was punished for. Worse yet, I willingly took the blame so that he would look good. If people knew the truth about him, they would treat him as he treated me. I hope he gets that. Someone exactly just like him. It was like I was brainwashed. I finally snapped out of it after he raped me two nights in a row. Told a friend, then looked at a place 3 days later. I escaped. He controlled me and everything about my life. I knew the getting out wasn’t going to be easy. I had to wait until may 1st to move out. I was assaulted more times. I was so done. The first night made me bleed, so because I had a tampon in, I woke up to anal rape. It literally took me bottoming to be at rock bottom. I woke up petrified. It was awful. I have flashbacks all the time, and when I do, it takes me to another place. Zoned out. I hate that. I worried that I was having a personality split or something, bc I felt like a different person sometimes. It was just a trauma response. One among many. So today I signed the mediation papers. He should pay more, I’m sure he’s hidden funds, and he has too much time with the kids. It will be awful. It will need to be amended and I am already looking into that. My daughter sobbed. She does not want to go that long. It’s so long. I am heartbroken and shattered. My rapist gets time with my girls. A lot of time. Too much time. It’s criminal. It’s like these abusive men still somehow manage to stay ahead of it all and end up dirt free somehow. He is aware of how she feels, but I do believe doing it to