Dysphoria vent

this past month has been really difficult for me for some reason. my dysphoria has hit a peak and I don’t really know why, but I’m sure part of it is because I haven’t been super structured about my t shots. Ive been on t for over a year and have started to get lazy about it… missing the day and doing it a day or two late. ive been on it long enough I didn’t think it would matter much but my bottom dysphoria has gotten a lot worse (whether it’s related or not idk) to the point I’m not engaging in sex anymore with my long time boyfriend. I just can’t do it even though I want to, the emotions I feel afterwards are too distressing that it just isn’t worth it. On top of this, today I noticed blood in my underwear, which is something I haven’t had to deal with in ages. It really threw me off and I feel miserable. What used to be feelings of dysphoria that I’d have every once in a while, is now an everyday all day sort of thing and it’s almost too much to bear. Obviously I am going to get better about taking my medicine, but it just really sucks.