I'm just so tired of this world

I'm 17, almost 18, and I just feel my existence has no worth within this society. For one, I have been bullied/picked on my entire life by mostly boys but sometimes girls too. I got booed at assemblies during middle school, received racial remarks in high school, was sexualized, etc. It doesn't help that I'm weird. For one, in elementary school I barely spoke but was very observant. I will admit sometimes I can be very awkward and glance at people too much (maybe I'm neurodivergent, idk), but I've also been struggling with social anxiety and shyness for most of my life. Now I do online school and stay inside. But now I have this male neighbor and his girlfriend (19/20 years old) who basically try to intimidate my mom and I We share a porch with them, and they put garbage in front of our door; they slam doors/walls and intentionally allow their pitbull to run outside without a leash. Mind you, we are not even living in the hood.

It doesn't help to see hate towards Black girls online as well; it's just all too much. Sometimes I don't even feel like a human.

I just wanted to rant, not trying to get a solution or anything. I know that racism/misogyny is probably just my reality.