my dad died

i got home from work at 5:30ish. we had dinner. i went to my room to hang out for a bit. he called me, at like 7:15. i called out and asked 'what?' and he said 'screw it, never mind'. 30 minutes later i went out and he was dead. no pulse. the fire department tried for a half hour. the er tried to another hour. they couldn't save him. i wish i had got off my fucking lazy ass when he first called.

mom's dead. now dad's dead. my sister is a fucking homeless addict, and the rest of my family? far, with a dwindling relationship. im in the house alone. everything i work for, everything i did was for him. and now he's gone.