Im actually so fucking lazy like why?

Today i was just supposed to get up at 1, then have lunch, and then study math until i had to go to the gym, and I did only one of those things

I got up an hour later, i had lunch, and i did not even touch a single pencil in the whole day

I did not clean the yard, i did not make my bed, i did not study, my whole day was "bed, shower, kitchen, eat, sofa, sofa, sofa, sofa, kitchen, sofa, gym"

And then, when i arrived home after the gym (circa 10pm) i got scolded for taking too long to take a shower, then, while having dinner, i got scolded bc I didn't study enough (i lied about doing something), and then before going to bed i got yelled at bc I did not do anything in the whole day, and that my mom (she was the one scolding me) had to tell me to do *everything* and that she had to do everything around the house, plus study for her degree, plus figure out what to eat, then she told me that around 2 years ago she told us (my dad and me) that we had to take out the trash and hang the towels, and that she had to take out the trash herself today (mind you, i was asleep when that happened, and i was asleep till around 2 hours after that), and now she's threatening me with taking my phone away if i don't start to do what she ask me to do

Mind you, *everything* I've said is my fault, and i hate that i aspire for so much, and that my own ego tells me im superior, but im so so so lazy and useless, why am i like this? Why is it so difficult to change?

And the worst part is that im the wrong one in all of this situation, and i can't fight back because im genuinely wrong and i don't have any kind of argument, i js have to stand there and face the consequences of my worst behavior

Im ashamed of who i really am, and I wish i could live by *my own* expectations, i wish i was as intel8and capable as *i said i was, as i act like i am*

(Art by me, btw)

(Sorry if it doesn't really fit in this sub, but i didn't know where else to vent)

Genuinely why tf am i like this?