27 and cannot swallow pills

27F. I cannot make myself to swallow pills comfortably and normally as normal people. Tiny pills and small gel pills? They are easier.

But it’s a struggle to swallow even a normal pain killer, vitamin pills or a fish oil capsule.

It’s so annoying and embarrassing. i bite the pills in small pieces and even then it manages to get stuck in the back of my throat and I can feel it going all the way down. I keep the capsules in my mouth until they are soggy and finally gulp it down when it’s unbearable.

Sometimes I make myself swallow imagining that someone is in front of me and how embarrassing it would be if they were looking at me.

I don’t understand where this fear of pills stems from but I have a guess:

When I was 3 years old, I was sucking on a perfectly spherical hard candy ball about the size of a marble. It suddenly got stuck in my throat and i couldn’t breath. I remember my mom grabbing me and turning me upside down hitting me and then putting her finger down my throat and taking it out. it was quite traumatic.

Later on in childhood I had this happen several times where hard candy got stuck in my throat.

I feel like these stuff is what gave me anxiety.

Does anyone else struggle swallowing pills? What helps?