Desperate gooning beta need help being turned into a perverted porn addicted beta

All I’ve been wanting to do is goon all day I’m so desperate to be kept denied..I want to be kept a desperate gooning beta.. have me sleep deprived.. ruin me.. all ive ever wanted was to be in a mentally abusive relationship.. I just need help ruining my life and turning myself into the desperate gooning beta I am.. I’m ftm taking testosterone but I understand if I need to stop whatever you think is best, 200 pounds, 4’11, 38DDD saggy udders that I tape up, jiggly belly, bubble butt, and puffy cunt with a 3 inch clitdick. i just can’t help myself im so desperate.. i have a chastity belt, cunt pump, milking machine, pussy clamps, clit clamps, nipple clamps, 6inch dildo, 8inch dildo, wand vibrator, small plug, medium plug, big plug, shock collar, and a few pocket pussys, and a full sex doll with the most perfect big perky tits, perfect tight smooth pussy, and the nicest jiggliest ass.. I’m also a virgin and haven’t cum in about 5 months I understand if I need to be permanently kept that way it’s what a desperate beta like me would deserve.. please come help me become a disgustingly gooned out beta..