I wish people could perceive me in context of my battles

I have the poop parasite. I moved in with my drug dealer and left in psychosis back to my old apartment I never stopped paying for that unbeknownst to me, became riddled with black mold after termites opened up the walls for me. I thought my ex drug dealer was stalking me, plotting my death, but it was just the mold and sudden sobriety. I dated a man who later admitted he didn't have empathy. Like, at all. Ill spare you how that one played out. When I first tried drugs, it was cut with meth and I just like... did that sometimes, not knowing why my brain was a whirlwind of chaos. (Backwards chronological order here, now we're onto sober me) I lived with my sister to help take care of her first born and when she left for a much needed trip, her now ex boyfriend shook the baby 20 minutes into caring for his son the first time that day at 7pm bc all he wanted was to play video games. Went to the clinic and baby was healthy but what the fuck I could never let my guard down. I asked him not to eat my pot pie in the freezer bc it was hard to cook and care for baby and he ate it. I dated a guy for the first time in my life at 20 y/o and told him if he secretly recorded us having sex I would kms, maybe bc I had a suspicion something was up with him. He called my bluff. I went to the police and then closed the case to go back to him bc I was going crazy dealing with that all alone. I lived alone for the first time and bc I didn't know about my diagnosises, I became a hermit. I didn't leave my apartment besides once a week to run into the grocery store right before they closed so I could see as few ppl as possible. Bought not enough food, lived on my phone, became 92 pounds, and never made it to the toilet without peeing myself quite a bit. Idk if that was malnourishment or what.

I could go on amazingly, but it's bizarre all that is true when I have so many success stories too. I went from being a hermit to a valued assistant manager. I was valued at my next job all throughout my addiction, sobriety, and psychosis. I actually love my sober life now and have a large number of healthy friendships. We play board games, get in nature, and don't hold back when it comes to expressing our authenticity. I love spending alone time in public. I dance in front of strangers bc it's unexpected and funny and I'm actually not bad by any means at the same time. Life is so unserious now that I'm living for myself. I love it and I can't wait to see what's next for me. If your life sucks, you might find living it in the context of the way your brain is wired allows you to give yourself so much grace and props. Whether that's from psychology research or therapy, you will find peace in yourself if you build the right environment for it. I love you and I LOVE LIFE WTF I'M SO PROUD I SURVIVED THAT