Avoidant putting in effort

Has anyone experienced the odd feeling when after being anxious for so long with the avoidant, you suddenly snap out of it? They come back, are putting in genuine effort, but you’re so disconnected, it’s like I don’t care but I don’t know if I’d necessarily want to lose him? I feel so calm in general and every interaction with him feels almost fake, i definitely care about him but it’s like all real hope has left it’s like I’m just waiting to be strong enough to end it, he won’t, he’s said it many times, but he hasn’t committed to me despite us acting like we’re fully together for almost a year.