I'm conflicted, I really want advice

So I'm pretty new to being trans (MTF), only about a month. I haven't gone any HRT or Estrogen because, well, I'm pretty young, I'm 16 in a red state with conservative parents, so yeah.

But, where my question comes in, I really don't want to do anything hard to reverse, if you know what I mean. I want to look, and feel, and just be like a woman, but I physically do not want to do anything that would truly alter my body to an extreme extent.

Believe me, I want nothing to with being a man, but that "never be the same" feeling that usually gives people comfort, does nothing but make me feel sick. It feels like I'm locked into doing whatever, like I can't back out if I get scared or uncertain. And that makes me question if I am truly trans.

Anyways, I want someone's opinion on this, thank!