I let my kids visit their grandparents over summer break. But now I regret it.

I 39 F and my husband 40 M live halfway across the states away from my parents and the community I grew up in. It is a small community but I left to have a higher education and better job opportunities. My husband and I have 2 girls, 10 F and 7 F. My husband works from home and was able to care for the kids when they were little with a babysitter for 5 hours a day. I work full time outside the home. We also own a business near by our home. We do not leave them with anyone except the babysitter that has been with us for 5 years and it is mostly for date night every few months. And the baby sitter wants us back by 11 pm as she doesn’t like to stay up late.

My Mom, 63 F, we will call her Jane , My Dad, 65 M, we will call him John. Both have been begging me to allow them to keep the kids for the summer for the past few years. I never allowed them to go mainly because they are to young. But honestly, I didn’t like the drama that came with MY family. I have a sister, 37 F, Vicky. She has 3 kids, 2 girls same ages as my kids and a boy 13 years old. She now lives in my grandfathers house close by to my parents.

The drama is so overwhelming. Every time my mom sides with my sister like these things are no big deal. They claim I am the over dramatic escalating emotional aunt. For example, a few years ago I went on a trip with Jane, John, my children and my sister children. My sister son was in the back seat with his cousins when I overheard him trying to talk his sister and my oldest daughter into kissing so he can take a photo with his phone. The following summer, we visited for a few weeks, my sister’s son tried to coheres his sister into taking photos of my kids while in the bathtub. My dad, John, saw what was happening and stopped them immediately. I tried to talk to the parents but they brushed it off as no big deal. Boys will be boys. Last summer my sister’s oldest daughter around 8 years old was caught with a boy kissing him and other things but nobody wanted to say what it was.

It has been a few years, finally after my parents coming to visit here at my home. I finally agreed This summer, I would allow my kids to visit. I set boundaries with my parents and they know I do not want my children staying with any unknown adults/strangers, no cursing in the home and take care of them with reminders to brush their teeth, etc.

Vicky since moving into my grandfathers house since his passing a month ago. Previously, was living with her boyfriend of 6 years. I knew this guy from school, we grew up together. Not a bad guy but not your ideal partner. He would take out the lightbulbs in the kids’ rooms if they left them on and did not want to help watch them at all. Since she now has a free home, she moved out and into my grandfather’s house. Which I am happy about, it is a better environment for the kids.

So, last night I called my kids to tell them goodnight. We were video chatting and I see a dog. I asked my niece if they got a new dog. And she said “no, it is Bob’s dog.” I asked my sister who is, Bob? She said it is her new friend. I overheard him telling the kids to get ready for bed. I asked “are you having a sleepover? If so, can you take my kids back up to mom’s house?” She said “you’re being over dramatic and if you didn’t want your kids around strangers then you should have thought about that before bringing them here.” I hang up and then called my dad and he was telling Jane to go get the kids, “I knew she ( meaning me) wouldn’t like that. I knew letting the kids stay there was a bad idea.”

I told my Dad, “ I trusted you and mom. You know if my sister is having a sleepover with her new situationship that I am not okay with them staying there. It is a Wednesday night, if she wants to have a fun with him tonight. She should have sent all the kids back to mom’s house. It is not appropriate. She has only known him for 2 weeks. What if he is a creep? What if he goes to the bathroom at 3 am and goes into the wrong room afterwards? Stop putting my children in possible situations they don’t need to experience.” My mom, Jane, told me to shut up, I am being over dramatic and escalating everything and hung up.

I don’t know what to do. My husband agrees with me but we don’t know how to handle this situation. Whatever I say it always comes back like I’m dramatic.