Challenging my dissonance

Would I do to someone else what he's done to me?

Do I have to keep asking for the bare minimum?

Do I avoid topics or conversations because I'm afraid of his reaction?

Do I say "in his defense" after talking about our relationship with someone?

Am I lying about what happened? If not why do I feel like I am?

Has he shown consistent change without me needing to remind him?

"If I don't do it it won't get done."

Have my patterns and habits changed since entering this relationship? And if so are they for the better?

Does he use praise to get what he wants?

Does he initiate conversations?

When something happens does he apologize and demonstrate an effort to avoid doing it again? Does he blame me? Does he love bomb?

If I do something do I rush to take accountability to avoid an argument?

What is his sense of humor?

If I remove the positive things in our relationship how bad are the negative? If I add the positive back to I see a pattern, or do the positive things no longer seem as significant?

Am I repressing memories?

How do others view my relationship?

What is the power dynamic?

Who is responsible for the emotional temperature in the room? And is that person solely responsible, or reacting to the other person?

Do I feel safe to be vulnerable or myself?