Am I wrong for asking my parents to stay in a hotel when they visit because they ignore every rule in my home?

My parents live about five hours away and usually visit two or three times a year. I have a small two-bedroom house, so technically there is room for them to stay, but every visit leaves me completely exhausted.

They treat my house like an extension of theirs and get offended whenever I ask them to do anything differently. My dad smokes on the back porch even though I’ve repeatedly asked him not to because the smell comes straight through the kitchen window. My mom rearranges things, goes through cabinets looking for “better places” to put stuff, and starts cleaning while making comments about how I obviously don’t have time to maintain a home properly.

They also invite other relatives over without asking, stay up watching TV until 1 or 2 AM, and wake me early because they want breakfast. I work from home, but they seem to think that means I’m available all day to entertain them.

Their last visit was the worst.

I had an important video meeting on Monday morning and asked them several times to keep the living room quiet for one hour. Ten minutes into the meeting, my dad turned on the TV, my mom started vacuuming the hallway, and then both of them began loudly arguing about where the coffee filters were.

When I came out afterward and said I was frustrated, my mom told me I was being dramatic. My dad said, “This is what happens when you invite family.”

I reminded him that I had invited two people, not a full disruption of my workday.

They left later that afternoon, but my mom spent the entire drive home texting me that I had made them feel unwelcome. After that, I decided I couldn’t keep repeating the same visit and hoping they would somehow behave differently next time.

They’re planning to come again next month, so I told them I would love to see them, but they need to book a hotel nearby. I offered to pay for one night and said they could still spend the days at my house, eat meals here, and do everything we normally do.

I just need my evenings, mornings, and workspace to remain predictable.

They reacted like I had banned them from my life. My mom said parents should always be welcome in their child’s home, and my dad said paying for a hotel would be insulting when I have an empty bedroom.

Now my sister is saying I should let them stay because it’s only a few days and “that’s what family does.”

But it’s never only a few days to me. It’s several days with no privacy, no routine, and no ability to set even basic boundaries without being accused of disrespect.

I’m not trying to punish them. I genuinely think a hotel would let us enjoy the visit without living on top of each other and resenting one another by the end.

Am I wrong for refusing to host them overnight?