Im gonna live with my mom for the rest of my life...

I've been thinking about this recently.

I went from hating my mom to loving and respecting and counting on her throughout the years, after trying to understand the traumas and pains she also went through.

Throughout the years, she's been there for me, I've been there for her, we become each other's safe space and friends, And recently it hit me that when she eventually goes, im gonna have no one that will love me as she does.

I got a decent job, a good social circle and plenty of hobbies.

She can stop working RN and I can pay and care for everything, really.

If she ever gets remarried, I'll move out and I'm probably gonna stay lonely for the remainder of my life, but I would be happy for her nonetheless, and will never try to dissuade her from doing so if a good opportunity arises.

But if she doesn't, I'm gonna stay with her till the day she bids farewell, im gonna care for her, and im gonna try my best to be a good son for her.

I'm not sure when these emotions started in me, but everytime i see her sacrifice a piece of herself for her shitty family, it brings me to a boil.

Perhaps I can say: "i dunno what I'll do without her"

But i know. I just rather it don't happen.