I believe that no one is going to love me

English is not my first language and I have dyslexia dysorthographia so sorry for the mistake here and there. And also not living in the US

I am a 24 soon 25 years old , woman. I have multiple mental illnesses such as social anxiety , paranoia , depersonalization and depression with difficulty to sleep and that is only the mental part. I have also psioriasys that make me look like I got skin burn on my face ,ear and where my hair are. that clearly impact my day to day life and no job. I’m kinda a neet right now with a art / streaming on the side
I have no hope in life. Absolutely nothing. I don’t think my life would go better because since childhood it was never the case. I got >!suicidal!< most of my late childhood / early adulthood and even at one point now it’s a option on a day to day basic. I have a « boyfriend » a long distance one where we are mostly roommates at that point. There is no « intimate » interaction since 1-2 years old when he told me I was way to sexual with him and to chill. Well that chill completely because nothing happen right now. We talk but no more « futur » talk together. There is simply just nothing outside of the occasional hearts
At that point I am just tired and believe that life and futur would never be something I was told would be. I have absolutely no friend whatsoever. Never gone to party , never had anything that people my age had and would settle down around my age or a bit later. For fuck sake I don’t even had >!sex!<. I got told that I would settle down , have a appartment , a job , and just have a happy life but now , 2026 , I have nothing about that , nothing.

I don’t know what to do