I feel extremely ashamed about preferring older guys (Repost)

To preface Im F16 and in the past year I have found myself having a preference for older guys that are atleast 10+ years older than me.

Whenever my friends talk about their relationships and crushes, I avoid talking about my preferences because I feel so embarrassed because they are talking about people our age, meanwhile my preference would be people significantly older than us.

When I started to like my tutor (28), I knew I could never tell anyone about even the crush because theyd react badly. (I understand it's only out of concern and love for me) I know because when I would even accidentally mention something about him related to our conversations they would all say it was kind of weird.

I just feel like all the boys my age are immature and don't truly care about me as a person and only care superficially and sexually. I just crave an intellectual connection so badly and I feel like an older guy could give me that and care for me as a person idk.

I just feel so stupid for liking these older men irrationally ESP because I am a teenager. I would never act on my feelings and understand that's it's just a fantasy, but I feel so guilty about thinking about it in the same way I'd think about a guy my age because I understand it's irrational and not a possible scenario. It's been eating at me and I wanted to get it off my chest because i can't talk to anyone ab it.