My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now, and I’ve never had any issues when it comes to our sex life. I was always satisfied, even when we’re apart I would be able to be on my own and still satisfy myself while thinking of him. However, something changed recently and I’m having a hard time. I recently had some pretty stressful events happen, so it made me not interested in anything remotely sexual for about 5 months. My bf was understanding and patient, and stayed by my side. Now that I’m in a better place mentally and physically, I’m struggling to regain that intimacy part of us back. We’ve had sex a few times this past week, and it was nice, but I didn’t feel fulfilled? I didn’t feel like how I did before. It didn’t feel like every part of me was satisfied, just like a okay we did that, what’s next. Now, please don’t judge I feel very bad for this, but I felt so frustrated I turned to erotic audios to kind of fill in that gap. While it did help, I felt extremely guilty and haven’t done it since. It did however make me realize that there is more missing, and I don’t know how to communicate that with my bf. I enjoy when he talks me through things, or the entire time, when he’s in complete control of when I do things, what he does to me, etc. But again, I’m not sure how to talk to him about this without seeming like I haven’t enjoyed any of our intimate moments. Even foreplay is a bit boring? I’m not sure. I bought a new toy recently, and I’m hoping that I can kinda explain what exactly I’m looking for while experimenting with this new thing. Idk, again I feel bad that I had to turn to the audios, but it made me realize what I felt was lacking in our intimate moments. My question is, how can I fix this? How can I talk to him, and tell him I want him to do all of this kinky things or even just talking, without it seeming like I just pulled everything out of the blue?

I don’t know how to make things more intimate