College orientation is pure ropefuel I don't want to have a future I just want to kill myself

Every real girl mogs the shit out of me, I look like an ugly fucking moid in my college id card, whenever I spoke I just sounded like a moid and it was an instant clock.

Why do I bother going through this shit when I can stick a gun in my mouth and then I won't have to worry about saving up for surgeries I won't be able to afford for like 10 years. Because I'm not normal and every decision I make has to be related to being a transvestite.

What dorm I'm gonna stay at? Well it has to be the LGBTQ safe space one because I'm trans and a cis girl may not be comfortable with me.

Where are my savinga devoted to? Surgeries of course, so I don't have the body of a freak. I can't save for normal things like a car or a nice apartment.

What's my dating life gonna be like? Trick question actually, because no one will want to pursue a real romantic relationship with me.

I hate everything I would be so pretty if I was female and I just want to kill myself or get murdered so I don't have to suffer anymore.