I’ve been researching cats for two years. I didn’t rush into this. I read everything I could, mentally prepared myself, and finally adopted a 3-year-old cat from a rescue yesterday.  
He’s honestly the sweetest, calmest boy. He’s gentle, polite, respectful, and exactly the kind of cat I was hoping for.  
I also understand that I shouldn’t expect to feel a bond right away. I know attachment takes time, and I was completely okay with the idea that, for now, I’m just his caretaker while we get to know each other.  
What I completely failed to realize is how much my own avoidance and commitment issues would torture my thoughts.  
This morning I noticed one of his eyes was squinting a little. Instead of thinking, “I’ll keep an eye on it and call the rescue or a vet if needed,” my brain immediately jumped to, “Maybe I should give him back. I can’t do this.”  
It’s like the moment I saw that something might be wrong, I wanted to run.  
Maybe it’s because my mom has cancer. I don’t know. Seeing someone or something that depends on me and could get hurt feels almost unbearable right now. It’s like my brain can’t handle the possibility of caring for another living being that could get sick or need me.  
The weird part is that I know I could give him a good home. I’m capable of taking care of him. But emotionally, I feel like a jittery dad who wants to leave to buy milk and never come back.  
I feel horrible even writing that.  
I don’t know if this is adoption blues, anxiety, grief, commitment issues, or a genuine sign that I’m not meant to have a pet.  
I also feel incredibly embarrassed because it’s only been one day. Part of me thinks people are going to judge me for even having these thoughts after preparing for so long.  
Has anyone else experienced this? Did these feelings pass, or did you realize pet ownership just wasn’t right for you?  
I really don’t think I can do this, I just want things to go back to what they were before. Maybe I don’t like change and Im doomed to be avoidant

I adopted a cat yesterday and I’m not right for him