Its getting so real , i might need to pick up smoking again

Shits just been depressing i wont lie. From how everything is going on in the fam and how most of my friends left me because i decided to go to Uni(shit was crazy, i didn’t think they were serious. Like we almost got into a forreal fight over this shit) and now there’s this pressure. Like so much is riding on me going through all of this with a straight face, no flinching.

Its been odd though. I don’t know if its because I’m leaving and I’ve been pretty much the only younger person around the house but the family has been acting weird. Like they keep making things a bit complicated: more complex requests or changes to said requests. They keep wanting to “see me” more and its a bit uncomfortable. Lots of more arguments than before (previously never had as many, thought we were chill), lots of near fights and too many nights where i just cant sleep well at all. I got a tiny job for some good pocket money before i hit uni but my new GM is a boomer with a vengeance plan for some reason and thankfully i was told it was the usual, did it to everyone. But he has been focusing on me more and it’s pissing me off (again idk if its because im about to leave in a few weeks or what but hes gone full rage mode over the smallest shit) . Like i got there 2 mins late , admittedly to traffic (they decied to install new lights?? Idk why) and dude BLEW HIS FRIGGIN TOP OFF!! Yelling at me in front of customers and shit, wouldnt let me speak and tell him, saying ill get fired when for the past few weeks ive either been early or on time. Like everyone has lost their goddamn minds, so much so im about ready to say screw it and go back and take a couple of hits to calm down.

Even sleeping doesnt help, just feel like i take the stress with me in the next day. First time i ever had a meltdown in years last night like goddamn i just wanted to go to Uni wtf man