Some reflections after having followed Jonna for many years

I never thought that I would write something here. Yet, here I am.

And before anyone starts; no, I don't think all the comments on here have been great - some are straight up gossip and trashtalking. I still think this subreddit should stay.

I have watched Jonna for many years, and did grow to feel that I cared about her. Even though I don't know her, and have never met her. In the early years I felt a deep resonance with her videos. Often short, whimsical, beautiful and with deep notes of something ethereal, something eternal.

She did become someone I cared about, even though some might label that parasocial.

Some things did start to bother me as the years went by. Now I don't watch her videos anymore. It is not because she is sad and down, because I truly can handle that. It is because I feel that in some deep core way, she has lost her way.

And I don't see any indication from her that she is aware of this. And I don't think it is true that just because I've only seen her in videos, I must be wrong about this. All kinds of information is transmitted just from hearing someone speak. I hear so much pain and doubt about her choices in her body language and voice. She tries to hide it, probably even from herself.

In her comment section on youtube there is just so many well wishes and adoration, that it makes sense to me that this subreddit became a place for people to vent. I don't condone gossip, but as someone said; we don't owe her blind adoration either. And blind adoration isn't healthy. It seems that is what Jonna wants in her comments, and that is one of the reasons I've withdrawn from her channel.

I can't continue to care about someone, even if it is online, who seems to have such a limited perspective on what is good and beneficial, and what isn't. I think several people on here would be able to bring Jonna feedback, and feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback is useful and helps you grow. Criticism doesn't do that, it just tears you down.

I think Jonna may need, and want, feedback in her life. And some of the people on here may be trying to bring her that. I think it is a serious lack in her life, but not something she seems to actively seek.

When I see her now, she seems deeply lonely and I wish that she would have someone who would cut to the chase with her. I think she is very strongwilled as a person, and that a lot of people end up being very peoplepleasing around her.

I am not saying that Reddit or the comments on her channel is a great place to get freedback. Not at all. But the fact that people seem to feel the urge to bring feedback, could be an indication of a lack in her life. People have a tendency to pick up on subconscious cues. And I do think many people do want to contribute to her life, in a positive way. And I think that goes for a lot of the people in here too, who may be saying what some view as harsh things. (Again, not talking about the gossip)

When I look at her I wonder if she has anyone in her life who matches her intensity and so is her equal? I don't mean equally successful, because people can have a successful business and not have her level of intensity. She seems lonely, and I know a lot people will say; she has lost a dog, got divorced..It is natural! And yes, it is.

What I am talking about however, is another type of loneliness, one that is more deeprooted. I think a lot of people who feel that way tend to think it is just how life will be for them. And I think that is a shame.

In one video, where she was at her cabin, she expressed some doubts around her choices about where to live. Some people in the comments seemed to view this as ungratefulness.

And while expressing those doubts in a video on youtube was maybe not the wisest move, I also thoroughly appreciated that video. Because everyone has doubts, and if the difficult emotions are never actually looked at and understood, then a person can't really grow and truly know themselves.